Christyn posted the following last night on Caringbridge:
This week did not exactly go as expected:
One day we left a joyful charity benefit with Rebecca onstage auctioning her blanket – the next she was in a wheelchair barely lifting her head from pain.
One day we leave balmy 90 degree weather – the next we enter ice cold temperatures 65 degrees cooler.
One day we were holding a schedule of outpatient appointments- the next we are inpatient with all appointments redirected to the hospital room.
One day Rebecca is stable – the next her pancreatic and liver enzymes are severely elevated.
One day we are planning Brian’s birthday celebration at home with the boys – the next we are listening to their voices solemnly sing ‘Happy Birthday’ over a phone.
One day I am assuring Alexander I will be home soon – the next I am buying months’ worth of warm clothing never to be worn beyond this particular season in our lives.
The difference of one day can be shocking….
Weeks like this clearly remind me how God is in control. I have a hard time not laughing in the face of planners…I used to be one. I made list after list of daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly plans. I was organized, scheduled, and on track for my idea of how my family’s future would look. My hopes, my desires, my dreams, my, my, my….
I have not accomplished a single list in over four years.
Four and a half VERY long years.
Everything I schedule, everything I plan, is somehow turned upside down and I am forced to depend on a second by second (minutes are too long) flexibility which is ever-changing.
But I discovered something in this out-of-control existence I am now a part of. When I am forced to give up my plans, I am forced to give in to God’s. The “one day’s” I anticipate become unanticipated– filled with the Almighty’s personal provision as opposed to my own pre-planned conceptions. And by erasing my calendar and burning my lists – I get the first-hand privilege of experiencing the Lord’s manna for the day. The very sustenance I require to get through this complicated and arduous journey…
So on the day I left a city filled with friends – the next I entered a city with God-chosen friends: the Fetterly family. They provide a home for Brian to stay, daily meals, and even a chocolate birthday cake (if you know Brian, you know it HAS to be chocolate!).
On the day I thought I was alone maneuvering a new hospital,new staff, and a new system – the next God surprised me with my dear friend Ann Clements. I met Ann in the hospital room next to us last year at CHOSA. The Clements family is from Arkansas and their son Austin was also a patient of Dr.Patel. We bonded as parents watching our children suffer through an excruciating disease. Austin is currently recovering from his own pancreatic transplant and his follow-up appointment from Arkansas just ‘happened’ to coincide exactly with our admission. Ann gave me a tour of the facilities, lent me her ear during my distress, and imparted great wisdom on how to cope through this extremely rare transplant.
On the day Rebecca, Brian, and I were depressed about our current situation – the next our amazing friend Gail drives up from Chicago. She brings a grocery cart full of Garrett’s popcorn, snacks and treats, warm blankets for our bed, and an entire store of ‘Friends’ Legos (about 8 sets!) to distract Rebecca during pain spells. But better than all of the above, Gail provided laughter in days that were previously filled with distress.
On the day I woke to an empty room void of my coveted hot cup of tea – the next my friend ‘Kerry the Keurig’ found a way to deliver another Keurig machine (in my favorite color red no less) with a supply of tea,coffee, and cups to last for weeks. Kerry single handedly found a way to reopen the Taylor Café over a thousand miles away!
And on this very day my comforting sister Jenny flies in town, my Aunt Jan delivered a gift bag full of smiles, and my husband and I end an entire week of cherished time together – despite the stress-laden circumstances.
Although my days are filled with unknowns, I am still able to utter the words Romans 12:12 states: ‘there is joy in my hope, patience in my affliction, and faithfulness in my prayer’ because I have a Creator that turns my unplanned days into unexpected miracles of provision.
Thank you Lord.
Love to each and every one of you,